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September 24th, 2010

janackeh @ 10:03 am: all things new
wow. things have changed....a lot.

well, a quick update:
basically, the best friend i was talking about  here: community.livejournal.com/soooo_much_more/4022.html ...is now my boyfriend. "she" is actually he--he is trans and he and i have been friends for going on 11 years now and in a relationship for a year and a half.

my entire LIFE has changed. in every way.

no, i don't identify as a lesbian, however, i still do feel very drawn to minister to ALL women, regardless of sexual orientation OR gender identity.

God has placed such a burden and LOVE in my heart for the women of the lesbian community, as well as male to female trans women and supporters/spouses of female to male trans men. i feel called to love and minister to them all.

so, even though my life has changed, my call in this area has stayed the same. so im going to post here more often and i hope that you all begin to join the conversation too =)

love you and praying for you!


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November 20th, 2008

janackeh @ 03:46 pm: quarterlife stuff...jealousy and the like...
i'm become a strange version of myself filled with anger and jealousy lately. its stupid. im 27 and have done almost nothing with myself. didn't finish college, working for minimum wage in the most thankless industry: the service industry. i feel like im at a standstill! bad credit, no money and stuck in the worst feeling way. God, help me outta this rut! I know you have plans for me and patience is key, but its so hard watching everyone around me look and seem as if they have everything figured out.

January 28th, 2008

janackeh @ 11:10 am: things really do change with prayer.
ive had this friend, who, a year and a half ago i had a falling out with. we were pretty much best friends, but we had an argument/misunderstanding and stopped talking for a year and a half. we go to the same chuch, see each other every sunday, but just have managed to avoid each other for the last year and half and get around to actually interacting with one another.

well-last night at church, i grew some balls (figuratively...not literally...) and walked up to her and said "hey, can i talk to you before you leave?"..i was SO nervous,but i kinda felt that it was defintely time to let go of all of this craziness, so i did and she smiled and said "sure" and we went into a quiet room and finally had the conversation thats been a year and a half in the making. I told her how i felt and how i missed her friendship like crazy and how i thought about her and her wife (who was my best friend in high school) all the time and i really wanted to make things right with them. it was an amazing conversation, simply for the fact that it had been so long.

i still cant believe i finally let go of my pride and did it. and she was fine with me...she said she didnt hold anything against me and i said the same...as i was driving home i told my fiace that it felt like at 1,000 ton weight had just been lifted off of my chest...it definitely feels better. something i thought would never be resolved and then look at God....im jsut amazed at how its all happened, and i hope this can be the beginning of a new, better friendship, but right now, im just glad that the lines of communication are open and we dont have to try to avoid one another anymore.

janackeh @ 10:37 am: some encouraging words...
Beloved, above all things I would have you to prosper. It is My will for you to prosper spiritually, to prosper in your soul, and to prosper in the strength and health of your body. My kingdom is one of prosperity; I hold all things in My hands and I distribute according to your needs, desires, and your faith. Come into this season fully expecting to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. If you will believe and go forth with expectation and a violent faith, you will surely receive all that I have for you, says the Lord.

When things do not work out the way you anticipated, go back to the proverbial drawing board. Re-evaluate what you know; separate the facts from your own presumptions and draw a line of distinction. Then, re- think your position and what you are willing to do and wait for My leading. Truly I am not surprised at your current situation, says the Lord, nor am I without power to move you from where you are into the flow of My Spirit if you will only yield.
Isaiah 59:1 Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear.

(from my daily prophecy email...)

January 25th, 2008

janackeh @ 12:05 pm: sadness
i lost my job this morning. it was the first job i actually took pride in. i cannot even express the sadness i feel...literally...im so numb to it--i cant even describe it. i know God has a plan through all of this. in this deep dark sadness and rejection i feel right now...i know there is a bigger plan.

this will pass.
pray for me.

December 21st, 2007

janackeh @ 10:49 am: from the "spirit of prophecy" daily email i get...
December 21, 2007: Face the things you dread. Ignoring difficult circumstances will not make them go away. If you will courageously face your difficult trials you will find that I have been there the whole time to give wisdom and direction and to bring you through in dignity and victory. I am your help in troubled times, and My grace is sufficient to every task. Do not be afraid to confront, and do so with the determination and confidence that you are not alone in this battle, says the Lord. Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

December 15th, 2007

pixiebells @ 05:28 pm: hey!
Thank you so much for adding me on here! I'm so excited cos it's the perfect place to express my newfound spirituality but my well rehearsed seuxality is also a part of it! This group is perfect for me.

I'm just really happy to be here. I'm had some different expirences with religion and God before but at the monment i'm busy but will add later. :)

Thanks for having me ladies!! God Bless!


Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: "Lucky Star" -Madonna

September 11th, 2007

janackeh @ 06:14 pm: his perfect timing.
this sunday, i had an absolute amazing experience. not only did the Lord speak to my heart about ministry, but some things i have been struggling with were confirmed and brought out.
to back up a bit, saturday morning i came home from work and the Lord gave me a dream. in this dream, i was crawling on the floor toward katie, and she was holding a baby in her arms. i crawled up to her feet and started praying over the baby. when i opened my mouth, i began to speak in tongues over the baby, violently and with passion. after a few moments of this i woke up and began to pray over katie in tongues.
sunday morning, while i was at work, i spoke to the Lord about the dream. i asked Him to reveal to me what that dream meant. He immediately spoke to my heart about the child representing mine & katie's ministry...together. He said that we must protect adnd pray over this ministry, we must cover it and protect it as we would our own child. i spoke to katie about this on the way to church sunday morning and we prayed together about it.
at church, Evangelist Brian spoke sunday morning about really taking hold of what God has called us to do--now--walking in faith with what He has for us--even if no one else is watching...even if it is to the air. after church, i went up to him to tell him how much his sermon spoke to my heart and to what the Lord had been speaking to me. he said something awesome...he said that before he was actually ordained in the church, but he knew he was called to preach--while he waited--he would preach to whoever would listen...sometimes only hiws dog. he said he would go out to his backyard and preach to the woods...that relly stuck with me.
sunday night, after still feeling a struggle in all this, i was ready to turn it all over to the Lord. i have been struggling in feeling like im not really walking in my callings. people tell me how my singing blesses them every sunday and how the anointing of the Lord comes out when i open my mouth to worship, but im ready to walk into more anointing...ive been ready for more all year...just waiting for God's timing and wondering "am i ever going to be used more by God?"...i just know ive got more than a song...more than worship...i feel spiritually impregnated with a NATION!!! there is a voice of a generation inside me...i am called to bring this generation to the feet of Jesus with art and music and dance and prophetic actions and freedom and liberty and joy! i know this in the depths of my soul. i am to call the works of the enemy out and call them dead...i am to let freedom forth out of the mouths of this generation...i am to show them the importance of their words and actions and how generations will reap what they sow! i am called to be a leader, a different kind of leader, a prophet and artistic voice for the struggles of my generation! i am called to look beyond what the world looks at and see the pain in their faces...i am called to encourage this generation with strength for the journey, with truth, with liberty...to set the captives free...this generation of captives...who yearn freedom, who cry out for it...i have a purpose in this.
ok, so, this is where my heart is at, and imagine my frustration, knowing that all of this is inside me and not knowing where to go next. well, then the Lord showed up. sunday night, pastor had me come forth to dance in front of the congregation, as an activation of what the lord is doing in the earth...all of the sudden, the feelings flooded back. the dances that i have done years before at church came back and those prophetic images that the Lord had given me...i finally felt RELEASE!! The Lord has released my ministry! HALLELUJAH!
Some verses came to mind in all of this and i have ot document them before i forget.
as with the dream...revelation 12:1-11

before service, there were many people talking about dreams they had had the night before ...joel 2:28
before the end of evening service, there was another activation that took place: purpose. leah got up before the congregation and spoke purpose to our generation. she said we are standing in the gap for our generation, mostly, our gay generation that needs to reconcile their sexuality with the Lord and walk in freedom, not freedom FROM homosexuality but freedom and liberty to be who God made them...freedom to be saved and gay...to tell the devil that he is under our feet and we CAN have relationships, walking in holiness and purity before the Lord with our significant others,who happen to be the same sex. Leah spoke PURPOSE over us...she took our hands in hers and looked each one of us in the eye and said "YOU HAVE PURPOSE"...that was another activation that night.
the Lord is doing a mighty work in this community...this body...this NATION of people and it is so beautiful and amazing...i thank you Lord.

August 31st, 2007

janackeh @ 08:28 pm: raising the standard of holiness in homosexual relationships
listen to it: here ...

it is an awesome message by my friends leah (squeakyclef) & amy from a conference at our church...if you have any questions, send leah a message/comment

August 15th, 2007

janackeh @ 05:53 pm: how long will you halt and limp between two opinions? (part 1)
this week, for my home group bible study we are reading chapter 11 from the book BATTLEFIELD OF THE MIND entitled : A Doubtful and Unbelieving Mind. This chapter made a whole lotta sense to me on why i struggle at times with pure misery.

1 kings 18.21 says "how long will you halt and limp between two opinions?". this scripture spoke to my spirit about how much unbelief i have at times when it comes to the manifestation of my ministry. i have wavered, in my opinion, when it comes to really being dedicated to "fine tuning" my ministry because i can't see the end result. thats where faith steps in. i MUST speak and act in faith, not doubt, when it comes to my ministry because all the devil wants is to crush the dreams and visions God has implanted in my spirit due to circumstances and situations.

joyce meyer tells a story in the book about a man who was sick and confessing the Word over his situation. after a hard time when he began to get discouraged, God gave him a vision and in that vision he saw a demon speaking lies over him telling him that he would never get well--but then, each time the man spoke the Word over his situation, light would come out of his mouth like a sword, causing the demon to cower and fall backward. the man then understood why it is so important to speak the Word. This story really hammered that point down for me that we MUST confess the Word over ourselves and our circumstances.

doubt and unbelief WILL come against us but if we can keep our minds FIXED on the things God has promised and spoken over us, we can't lose!

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